News you can use...

Hillary Can't spell "Tomorrow" and she's a dirty socialist....




Sudan threatens to cut off America's supply of coke..

It appears that Bush's new economic sanctions, has pissed off Dana Milbank, ambassador of Sudan. Apparently gum arabic is used to make Pop/Soda fizzy and it comes from Sudan, so until America stops telling people about Darfur you can expect your Sprites to be flat... that'll teach us

Speaking of teaching America.. Downtown Lexington, Kentucky is recovering from a mild annoyance... 36 Parking meters have been found super glued shut.A group calling themselves the Red and Anarchist Action Network is claiming responsibility for the vandalism. They claimed to have glued shut 150 meters... The vandalism has cause the fall of the American government...anarchist win....



Sports

Yahoo is reporting that the wait list for eagles season tickets is 4000 years ... coincidently that's also the wait for a super bowl win..

After A Rod was photographed coming out of a strip club with a large brested women, Mrs A Rod was pissed off,...but she took a deep breath, counted to two hundred fifty million and decideds to stick by her man

Rodger Goodel, NFL commisioner, says NFL clubs may no longer serve alcohol at team functions or on buses or flights, extending a ban that until now applied only in locker rooms. The rule pertains not only to players but to owners, coaches and guests.

"I believe that no constructive purpose is served by clubs continuing to make alcoholic beverages available, and that doing so imposes significant and unnecessary risks to the league, its players and others," Goodell wrote to all 32 teams in a letter obtained by The Associated Press.

Aparently NFL players need to be babied...if they are able to "make it rain" on strippers witn dollar bills, lead dog fighting rings, shoot guns, and sale drugs they should be able to drink..


Oakland Raiders receiver Jerry Porter, said Wednesday he would have to pay $210,000 to switch his uniform from No. 84 to 81 in order to reimburse the team and Reebok for the cost of the unsold jerseys.

"Man, there's a couple of nice cars I'd like to get for that money," Porter said. "I could buy a nice vacation home, or at least go half on one with someone else."

Bang In my White Tee Bitch